Owwww!

Personally I’ve never crapped myself but if I ever did I imagine I would walk something like I am now! Slightly bent over, arse in the air, arms spread wide and legs very much bowed– not a pretty sight! As soon as I realise how much of a prat I must look, I quickly bolt up right and end up flicking the lower legs out as I step forward…. which tends to make the head bob back and forth and the arse wriggle a tad. Can’t picture it? Then think Egyptian walk crossed with John Travolta strutting down the street in Night Fever and there you have it!

You see, in my attempts to get the lean, flat stomach I can only dream of I have embarked on a new eating and exercise regime. There’s just one problem – its working! I know I know, this is good yeah? Well, not when my shins my hurt so much that in an attempt to prevent putting any pressure on them I end up walking like I’ve just had an attack of the bowels!

I had originally given up on the whole healthy living lifestyle to instead be comfortable with what I do have (which would be a great pair of tits!!) But as always curiosity got the better of me and I decided that I would once again tread onto the scales to you know... cause myself to fall into a state of depression! And depressing it was! God knows what the reading said, but seeing as I couldn’t read it as my stomach blocked the view I’m guessing it wasn’t good! Needless to say: I’m back on yet another health kick.

However, this health kick is much better than the ones I’ve previously been on. There’s no cutting out the carbs, fat or calories. Although there’s no cake, crisps, chips or burgers allowed on my menu there are lots of other yummy things I can have…. like Ricotta cheese! I’ve never had Ricotta cheese before but I’ve developed quite a taste for it and it's great when you spread some onto apple slices and sprinkle with a little Nutmeg. Mmmm, truly delish! As for the exercise, my shins can confirm there's no gain without pain! But the great thing is my workouts are all about doing less exercises correctly rather than lots incorrectly- fantastic!

All in all I think its going pretty well and I’m certainly feeling the effects. But maybe I shouldn’t get too excited yet…..... it has only been a week…........and I did have a huge Dominos takeaway on Saturday :(